New Year’s Resolutions Not to Make This Year

new years resolutionsEvery year people spend actual time thinking of how to better themselves when the calendar turns. You know, the ‘new year, new me’ people who stick to their new year’s resolutions for like two months tops. Can we just skip that this year, have a drink, have some fun? For inspiration, here are five personal goals you shouldn’t make on New Year’s Eve.

  • lose weight / exercise / diet

In the new year I’m going to cut all carbs and go to the gym I just joined every single day. I’m paraphrasing here, but we all know someone who has set the aggressive lose weight goal. A goal they are almost certainly going to fail. Instead, why not just cut back on dessert, or start by doing a workout at home once a week. Don’t be that person gym-rats complain about.

  • quit smoking

Everyone knows smoking is bad for you and honestly, quitting is a good idea. That being said, having it as one of your new year’s resolutions isn’t the best. It puts way more pressure on you to quit smoking as soon as the new year rings in and if you’ve told people your resolution, you’ll feel worse telling them you’re still smoking two weeks later.

  • save money

By save money I mean the people who think they’re suddenly going to stop shopping, or never get coffee at Starbucks again. It’s unrealistic to think that you’re going to save every single penny you make. Maybe start bringing your lunch to work instead of buying it everyday. Don’t stop going out for drinks with friends altogether, just cut back a bit so you can have fun AND money.

  • find a boyfriend / girlfriend

No. Just stop. You’re not going to find a boyfriend or find a girlfriend just because you bought a new calendar. You’ll find someone when you find them and going out looking just seems desperate and sad, neither of which are desirable traits. Instead of going out looking, just try to relax and enjoy yourself, someone out there is waiting to notice how awesome you are.

  • get organized

You finally realized that no one wants to clear three-week-old McDonald’s bags off your back seat before they can sit in your car, or realized that you misplaced your electric bill and therefore forgot to pay it. Instead of trying to become that person that has their next month outlined and written down in their planner, maybe just try to clean out your car every other week.

Oh, also, don’t tell anyone you’ll see them next year, that joke is tired and not even remotely funny.

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