Wally Was Better Off Alone

Yesterday it was announced that Wally’s sister Tessie is coming to Fenway. Why can’t we just let the boys play baseball, keep it simple? Don’t want or need Tessie muddling things up.

The Red Sox are really into having too many mascots though because Canaligator, the mascot for the Lowell Spinners, is married to Allie-Gator and they have a daughter, Millie-Gator. So, they couldn’t stop at just one mascot there either.

The Spinners have a family of mascots and a giant blow up slide with a bounce house because kids like that shit. Not one adult is losing his or her mind because of Wally and definitely care even less about Tessie. It’s honestly a huge joke and one mascot is more than enough. Don’t make Fenway into a playground.

We need better baseball and more beer sold in the stands and less creepy men dressed as a female mascot. Wally was enough, we don’t need Tessie.

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